Sam's 4th Birthday Party!

Sam was supposed to celebrate his birthday last weekend, but an icy winter storm led to cancellation. We just didn't want to risk people getting hurt on the roads. So we picked up his Batman birthday cake and took it to Grandma Janet's.

The nice people at Monkey Joe's allowed us to reschedule at the last minute, so yesterday we were at Monkey Joe's with eight wild four year olds. The only casualty was a busted lip (Sam's).

I always hear about all these boys that Sam is friends with at school. His class is pretty much all boys except for one girl who is now his "girlfriend". Every day I hear the tales of their adventures playing Avengers. When I pick him up at school he is always playing and happy, but I have never really seen them in action.

Oh.my.goodness.

It is such a joy to see Sam with his buddies. They are a great little group of kids, and they just ran around the play place in a pack, switching off which kids were buddying up for different bounce houses. They were all just so happy and delighted and excited to be there together. I so much appreciated the sheer childish delight that I saw. It makes me so happy knowing that every day he goes to school he is spending time with kids he really enjoys. And a lot of them will be going to his same elementary school!

We made it through the party without incident. Only upset moment was when his friend who is our neighbor burst into tears. He was at a disadvantage not knowing the other kids besides Sam, so they turned on him as the "bad guy". After trying to get Sam to tell everyone he wasn't the bad guy (at that moment Sam was in tears about his busted lip) poor F broke down crying. I quickly made all the kids at the table tell him he wasn't the bad guy and the tears subsided. Whew. Crisis averted.

Happy Birthday, my Sam. You are such a crazy ray of sunshine, happiness and optimism. You balance out the rest of us in the family that may have a tendency to be a little darker, sensitive and dramatic. You live your life with a constant mischievous twinkle in your eye - and while this is sometimes leading to trouble, I wouldn't change you for anything!

A Letter to My Boys: On Diversity & Acceptance & Being an American

I don't write about myself too much here, but yesterday I encountered something that is weighing so heavy on my heart. I did use it to have a good discussion with Gavin, but my hope is that they can read back on this blog and see the person that I am, and who I hope they are growing up to be. This is such an important topic.

Yesterday a good friend - one of my best friends - told me she was drawing a line and only going to be spending time with similar minded people that she found common ground with. The basis for being similar minded was political views. She's always been very conservative. I've always been fairly liberal, but not outspoken. We've never discussed politics. It was a huge blow to me. This was my maid of honor. I think she might be listed as second in my will to look after my kids if for some reason my brother can't. Yeah, we were that tight.

To Sam & Gavin:

I am so proud to be an American. There are so many amazing things that this country stands for. We were founded on the ideals of being a democracy. People have the right to think for themselves, and we vote for the people that we believe will steer the country in a direction that we want to see it go.

We are a country founded on diversity. I have heard so many terms over the years "melting pot", "mixing bowl". All to say that we are all different - we come from different places, we have different beliefs, we have different ideas on how the country should be run.

These are such good things.

Sometimes there are more people that think differently than us than think the same. Sometimes we don't agree with the way the leaders of the country are doing things. The great thing is that, we can disagree. We can speak out, and we can voice our opinions, and exercise our right to influence the outcome by voting. It doesn't mean it always goes our way. That's ok because while we may not always agree with how things are being done, it doesn't mean that the other side is fundamentally wrong.

There is a difference between being firmly grounded in your beliefs and being divisive and narrow minded. Don't limit your relationships to people that think exactly the way you do. Celebrate your differences. Let them challenge your belief structure. Being a republican doesn't make someone a bad person any more than choosing to wear jeans while you prefer sweat pants makes someone a bad person.

Learn about your differences. We have an amazing opportunity to learn from each other - explore new religions, other cultural traditions. Understand that what your family and home structure looks like might be very different from someone elses.

We might not always understand, or even like, someone else's opinion. Don't allow your view of another human being to be limited to just one facet. We are so much more than "just" our religion/political affiliation/job/gender/ethnicity/sexual orientation. Surround yourselves with good and loving people, and accept that you won't see eye to eye on everything. Differences are not a reason to dismiss people. Tolerance and acceptance is about loving someone even when you think they are wrong.

When evaluating a relationship ask yourself: does this person treat others fairly? are they kind? If the answer to these questions is yes, none of the other stuff matters. If you have someone in your life that is a good person, that supports you, that you enjoy spending time with, none of the other stuff matters.

Some of my favorite people in my life have vastly different religious and political beliefs. I don't like them any less for it. I welcome discussion on those topics because I'm always curious to learn the reasons why people feel the way they do. But honestly, I don't even give it that much thought. We find common ground in working together, in our life history, in running, in being parents. Yeah, sometimes we may migrate towards people that think the same way we do, and that's ok too.

How boring would your world be if you surrounded yourself ONLY with people just like you?

I leave you with saying that I am so lucky for all my friends and family and the diversity that is represented amongst all of them. No one says it better than Ellen DeGeneres in her sign off -

Be Kind to One Another

Gavinisms & Samversations

Hello friends, long time, no post. It's been a crazy month - traveling to NM for Cross Country Nationals, a re-org at work (resulting in more work for me, a new boss, and no more compensation), the Sandy Hook shootings, and the holidays - well, it's been a seriously emotionally draining month for me. It's hard for me to put words on a page when I get in a funk like this. My life is good. I have nothing to complain about, especially not at a time when so many are mourning the loss of their sweet children. It's doesn't seem appropriate to talk about how national tragedies affect me - even though it affects us all, it doesn't come close to how it affects those directly impacted.

And you certainly don't need another post about how lucky and grateful I am - I've written plenty of those, and I still feel lucky and grateful. So, it's hard to write.


I'll finish recapping NM and the holidays another time, instead I'll leave you with the latest funny from the kids.

Gavin was at my office yesterday morning. We've replaced paper coffee cups with re-usable mugs, and there are red mugs in the break room for guests. Employees have green mugs that we are responsible for keeping track of. I gave Gav a mug of hot chocolate, and as we were standing around with our coffee mugs, chatting with my (former) boss, Gavin said:

"I feel like a real businessperson with this mug!"

Sam woke up Christmas morning with a story on his mind. As soon as he woke up he said:

"Mom, you know about the Angels that have to guard the garden?? There was a sneaky snake that poisoned the apple. And they weren't supposed to eat it, but Eve gave it to Adam, and he ate it - and that's how they got in trouble with God! And now the Angels have to watch over the garden."

I posted this on FB tagging his teacher, who was so proud that he pays attention at "Jesus time"!

Sitting on the couch, right next to me, playing on his new Kindle Fire:

"Mom, I just feel alone right now. I feel really, really alone."

Heartbroken to hear this, I prod him on how he could possibly feel alone when I was right next to him. He felt alone that I wasn't playing his game with him!

Telling me about his day yesterday:

"Mom, it was a bad day for the Avengers today. There were so many bad guys, and not many good guys at school today!"

He and his buddies play Avengers all the time at school. They all are a character and from the stories I hear, these are very elaborate games that they come up with. Hopefully good will prevail.

"Avengers - assemble!!"

We Made it To New Mexico!

This morning we had a very uneventful plane trip to New Mexico via Denver. Only hiccup was a little bit of a delay getting out of Denver and it was minor. When we landed in Albuquerque, we got our rental car and went stratight to the cross country field where Gavin and I ran the course and practiced a fast finish. It's a nice flat course, and hopefully the elevation won't bother him too much! He drew a really good starting box slot, so he should have the best possible conditions for a great race.

The house Chad rented is awesome, and he is the official travel planner of the family now. It's a nice big place in a newish development.



Not the house that you can see in the pic, but the one right next to it is for sale for just $400k if you are interested  :)

We are off to the grocery store and to grab dinner. Trying to be a better blogger, so look for mini updates throughout our trip!

Sam's Freakin' Bucket List

Sam Sellers, as always, is precocious and keeps our hands very very full. His latest joy is the very liberal use of the word "freakin'".

As in "I don't want you to go to your stupid, freakin' job today".

Or when he is mad, he simply just yells "freakin'!!".

He apparently told Chad a couple weeks ago about his bucket list.

He wants to:

Go Fishing
Ride a Train (and he wants to sleep on it)
Fly in a Helicopter

We are planning our trip to New Mexico for USATF Cross Country Junior Olympic Nationals and there is a train we can ride there. Chad told me that we could fulfill one of the things on Sam's bucket list. I hadn't heard them yet, so Sam jumped up and rattled them off for me.

Oh, that freakin' kid.

Sam: Soccer Star

Sam has been playing soccer with i9 sports this fall. I helped coach the team and twelve 3 & 4 year olds are a lot to handle!

Yesterday was his last game - of course, just as he was starting to get into it. The kid does not like the cold, and unfortunately most of his games fell on pretty chilly weekends. Somehow the nice weather has all been reserved for the work week this fall.

Setting His Own Pace

Gavin Sellers has never done anything in his life according to plan. One of the things I love about running is that it is such a metaphor for life in general. There are so many lessons to be found in between the lines of the track, or out in an open field running all alone, or pushing up what seems to be an insurmountable hill.

As anyone that reads this blog knows, Gavin was born three months early, only to beat all the odds initially. Vent tube out after 6 hours. Contracting a scary staph infection at 10 days old, but that was the "only" major setback of his NICU time, which was pretty amazing. Getting to the end of our odds-beating NICU stay to discover his stomach and intestines were malrotated (1 in 5,000 odds), requiring invasive surgery to correct. Being the first baby at our children's hospital to have said surgery performed laparoscopically, reducing the risk, pain, and recovery time.

He came home and we knew the rules of "What To Expect the First Year" did not apply. We expected delays, and regressions, and really had no idea what his full potential was. Would his lungs ever catch up, or would they always put him at risk for illness, would they be a limiting factor in playing sports? Would his motor skills ever truly catch up? Had his brain bleeds affected his development, physically, intellectually, socially?

When you are staring at this sweet child, all you want as a parent is for them to reach their fullest potential. While I have spent most of his life cautiously optimistic that he would be "the same" as any full term kid, I was never really sure when those preemie scars would raise their heads and show me what they had done to him.

I believe there are some character traits that all preemies have. It's either a Darwinian trait that allowed their survival or one they develop from everything they've gone through. One thing I know from all my preemie blog mom friends is that they all have it. A fighting spirit. A determination and focus like no other.

While Gavin has brought that to school, there is one place where this has come to life, and it's on the cross country course.

We started taking Gavin to the track when he was 4 or 5. It certainly wasn't my intention to make a runner out of him - it was just something to do to get out of the house and burn off some steam. Then he participated in some field days at school and a week long track camp in Kindergarten. We started entering him in some kids fun runs. He enjoyed it so we kept doing it.

Spring 2011, he went out for the track club. He was really young, and stuck to shorter distances, and we didn't expect much other than for him to have fun. He did, and he made it to the regional meet at Hamline University - his dad's college. At 6 years old, he competed on his Dad's college track.

Over the fall and winter he would run here and there, but never too much, too often. Spring 2012 came and we were coaching. We encouraged him to try the 1500m. He was terrified, but he did it - and he did it really well. He competed all the way to nationals.

But where we saw the biggest change was the cross country course. After the Iowa Games 4k, he proclaimed he loved the hilly xc course and "I want to run a 5k every weekend!".

Cross country started and he came to life. He connected with the team, he enjoyed (for the most part) the workouts, his confidence built as he ran more and more miles.

The thing I've always noticed, and admired, about Gavin when he runs - is that he has this innate sense of pacing. Most adults are not this astute and yet he knows just how hard he can push. He doesn't let other kids push him out too fast, and he knows which ones he can catch before the end of the race.

Last night the kids competed at the Westside Track Club Invitational. This was an important one because the state meet will be held at the same course. Gavin finally had a chance to compete in a 2k, the race distance for state and nationals. As he had been running 3k's, I didn't know if he would go out fast enough, too fast, or what would happen.

Off the start line, he stumbled, and a girl took off in a dead sprint. He was a couple seconds behind her for a good quarter mile, and I was a little worried! But he slowly overtook her and stretched out a good lead. He ran 2/3 of the race with a strong lead, chasing the gator.

He crossed the finish line in 8:08 minutes, running a 6:06 per min mile pace, and taking the course best down by 32 seconds.

I'm a worrier. I worry I'm pushing too much, or not enough. Am I giving too much instruction, do I need to step back and let him figure it out on his own? I don't want to see people fail, so I turn into this person that needs to control everything.

One of the hardest parts of parenting is having the faith to let go a little. To trust. To know that wherever he goes in life, he is leaving it all out on life's course. Finding his proper place in the pack. Setting his own pace.