A Bad Mommy Day

Yesterday was bad. REALLY bad

Let's back up - it's been a horrendous two weeks at work, lots of late nights working. Trying to get ready for Gav's bday party and Kindergarten. So I've been more than a little stressed.

Yesterday Gavin went back to his old day care b/c KTC closes for 3 days before school starts. I expected him to be in a rotten mood b/c he doesn't deal well with those kinds of transitions. Well let's just say he was way worse than I expected. By the time we pulled into the garage he wasn't crying or whining but SCREAMING at the top of his lungs.

The lack of sleep. The stress. The messy house. The screaming kid......and suddenly I just screamed back. It felt kind of good to let it out, and I just wanted him to feel how I feel when he does it.

Then I felt horrible because I scared the crap out of him, and when he gets scared his tummy hurts so he proceeded to cry and gag and almost throw up. Did he learn a lesson? Probably not. Did I? YES

So one would think the night can only get better, but it didn't. Due to lack of patience and general intolerance I told Chad to put Sam in his crib. THIS was the night we would try to cry it out. Honestly I just wanted to eat dinner without hearing the wailing in the living room. Five minutes later I send Chad in to get him. Sam doesn't cry like an ordinary baby, he gets himself so freaked out that he is pale and his whole body is shaking and he can't catch his breath. So when Chad came back out with him and I saw that, I cried too.

UGH. So needless to say I feel horrible about my parenting skills, I am expecting next week to be a total nightmare with Gavin starting Kindergarten, and the prospect of sleeping in my own bed anytime in the near future is slim to none.